Random, but wait a moment

I spontaneously thought of a new original Undertale Monster idea, and a whole Personality behind it, but NO NAME. It's supposed to shield other monsters from attacks, and is impervious to attacks unless you go on the route to spare it, then attack it specifically. Once you do so, it only has 1 HP, and with its defenses lowered, it can be killed. The ACT options are as follows:

Words in Bold will be red in the game.

ACT> Check/Flirt/Joke/Pet/Rotate/Grab

ACT>Check
ATK: 0 DEF: 1000
A near impenetrable shield (Pacifist)/A near impenetrable obstacle (Genocide)

ACT>Flirt
You say a cheesy "shield" pickup line... [INSERT NAME HERE] starts blushing profusely for a second, then stops.

ACT>Joke
You tried to think of a decent shield pun, but failed miserably. (if encountered before first interaction with Sans)/You wanted to say a good shield pun, but you wouldn't be able to protect yourself from the hate. (if encountered after first interaction with Sans)

ACT>Pet
You attempted to pet the [INSERT NAME HERE], but couldn't figure out where its head was.

ACT>Rotate
You grabbed [INSERT NAME HERE] and rotated it, but it rotated further than you could handle.

ACT>Grab
You tried to grab [INSERT NAME HERE] to use as a shield, but it slid away before you could reach it.